i'm standing here in front of my mirror in just a pair of undies, blow drying my hair, realizing that this is the first time in my whole life that ive ever stood and stared at my reflection and been happy with what I saw. never, before tonight, have i looked at my body and thought 'damn you look good'. I have to say that it is such a great feeling :) i can't thank the rec center enough for it

I can't sleep. I'm laying here on my couch rolling my eyes at this infomercial thats guaranteeing a "total body makeover" without stepping foot inside of a gym, in 6 weeks guaranteed. Apparently this chick lost 80 lbs and 86 inches and the weight is "literally melting off". YEAH RIGHT. I feel bad for all the people out there that buy into this crap. That's all it is, a bunch of crap.

I'm back to keeping track of everything I put in my mouth. Seriously, check out myfitnesspal.com . Keeping track of my food intake definitely makes a HUGE difference in how many calories I eat. When I don't do this, it is way too easy for me to pretend like I didn't just eat something bad for me. Adding something to my daily food log and being forced to look at the nutrition facts is when I often decide that my butt really doesn't need a second  serving of something.  

You are what you eat !

The past two weeks have been insane for me (if you couldn’t tell from my lack of blog posts). School definitely kicked my butt this quarter… I will be SO glad when summer break is finally here! Despite my crazy schedule I have managed to stay pretty consistent with my workouts. Speaking of consistency, I have to say that this is one of my biggest accomplishments so far; making trips to the gym a normal part of my day. I enjoy going to the gym, actually look forward to it now – this is something I never thought would be possible. In fact, I wish that all I had to do with my life is workout and sit in the sauna with my friends. My biggest struggle remains my diet; I have to say that it is the hardest aspect of weight loss and is definitely tougher than the workouts. It is so difficult to eat healthy as we are surrounded by junk food, and let’s face it, it’s much more convenient for someone else to make your food for you. Although I’m not very familiar with the science behind it, I’ve heard that junk food is like a drug. That junk food triggers a certain pathway in the brain causing us to want more of it. From my own experience I have to agree with this theory. It seems although when I eat really well for a week or so, eating mainly fruits, vegetables, and natural unprocessed foods, I stop craving sugar and other “bad for you” foods. I start to prefer the taste of fruit over gummy bears and chips. It’s when I give in and eat badly for a day or two that I seem to hit this slippery downward slide of more unhealthy eating. I think that finding some type of a balance between eating good and bad food is key, but even five, nearly six months in to this journey, I am still struggling to find this. I’ve come to realize that this is okay though and that healthy eating is not a change that can be made over night. I’ve been eating “bad for you foods” for the past twenty years of my life, obviously it is going to take a bit of time for my taste buds to adjust. I met with a new dietitian, Marta Graham, and she had a lot of interesting information to share with me. She spoke a lot with me about the “science” behind eating and how insulin, glucose, and cortisol levels affect fat storage and hunger. Marta emphasized the importance of regulating blood sugar levels by doing things such as eating breakfast EVERY day. Marta also suggested I increase my protein intake and lower my carbohydrate intake and not to worry AS much about calories and fat. I've yet to put this into practice though; my diet has been horrible over the past two weeks and has consisted of cake, cookies and very few vegetables. As a result, I continue to be stuck at 129 lbs and my % body fat isn't budging. It’s time to get my crap together - bathing suit season is right around the corner!!

PS. I’ve had some requests for tips… I’m working on putting together a list as well as some info about what my workouts are looking like these days without Ashlee facilitating them :( I miss her SO much!!!   

Omgoodness!! The past couple of weeks have been so crazy busy. As soon as I get home from work tonight blogging and answering questions will be my number one priority! I hope everyone has a great workout today!

im fighting a sugar craving . im not going to give in

Today at 1 o'clock I am meeting with Marta Graham to use my last dietitian session. I am really excited to see what she has to say! In the few emails we have exchanged I explained the difficulties ive been having with my junk food binges and getting my % body fat down. Marta says she is "confident" that she can help me :) Ill let you know how it goes!!

I had a great workout tonight. I did a group training session at the rec center. Ashlee trained two other girls and I... I must say that there is nothing like a workout with Ashlee. I realllly miss having regular training sessions with her...

im about to throw my scale out the window :(

My fat ass has gained five pounds in like a week.

I started off the month of May with the mindset that it was time to crack down and work really hard over the next couple of weeks to get these last few pounds off... The opposite has happened though. I've been eating so much junk food its ridiculous. I've seriously been eating cookies, chips and skittles like it was my job. In fact, I've ate FIVE whole pounds worth of food, and now I'm back up to 130 :( Every morning for the past like five days I've been avoiding my scale. I would quickly glance at it and then pretend like I didn't see it. I guess I've kind of been pretending that the vending machine raids have not been occurring. But they have been and the scale that I finally decided to face this morning was quick to tell me this. I'm bummed out. Disappointed in my lack of self control. Disappointed that I let this happen. Disappointed that weight is so easy to put on and so difficult to take back off.

I guess this is an instance in which I need to take my own advice. What has happened has happened and theres nothing I can do to change the past, I need to learn from this mistake and not let it happen again. So what should I do now? Well, I just took a two minute break from writing this, walked into my kitchen and threw all of the cookies my mom just baked & ice cream into the trash can. My little sister will NOT be happy when she discovers this (my mom probably wont be either) but I mean, I did this in everyones best interest and I can just deny I had any part of the disappearance......

Anyway, I guess I am going to get ready now and go workout .... :-/      

just had such a greaattttt workout :) :)

I gave away TWELVE pairs of jeans last night =]

As I'm running on the treadmill drenched in sweat I'm wondering to myself why the hell I was always so worried about looking sweaty at the gym. It's funny to me now to think that it used to be such a big deal, that I was actually embarrassed to workout in front of people because of it. I guess it's just another way in which my mind set has changed. Instead of embarrassment it's a feeling of pride. It's a sign of how hard I'm pushing my body.

Question: Kirsty, I am eating well and have found that keeping track of my food definitely helps, but I am disappointed because I gained 3 lbs when I thought I would have lost 3. What am I doing wrong?!

Answer: 

I understand your frustration because i've been there. Some weeks I will lose, others I will plateau. Here is my advice... 

First of all, limit the amount of times you step onto that scale.. Make it once a week, no more than that. This way you won't be discouraged by the numbers that appear and will work harder during that week for your next weigh in. 

Second, how much are you working out? Diet is very important but to lose weight and keep it off it is absolutely necessary that you are getting enough exercise. Start off small and add more to your workout each time. Shoot for several times a week of cardio AS WELL as strength training. If you can't make it to the gym every day of the week, don't worry, walk around your neighborhood, youtube exercises that you can do at home. There are so many different things you can do to exercise without equipment, just using your own body weight for resistance. 

Third, I have found using myfitnesspal to record food to be EXTREMELY beneficial. It is important to record your food as you eat / prepare it though. Make sure you are recording down EVERYTHING. If you make a sandwich make sure you are writing down everything in it and the amounts. Ex: 2 slices bread, 1 teaspoon butter, 2 oz chicken breast.... What about your drinks? If you make coffee in the morning make sure you are including whatever you add to it, sugar, creamer etc. 

Recording food isn't going to help you if you aren't eating the right foods. Tip... When you go to the grocery store focus on selecting foods that are on the outside perimeter of the store.... Most of everything in the middle, on the shelves and in the freezers are BAD for you. You want to make sure you are eating plenty of fruits and vegetables. A good rule of thumb is to eat two more vegetables than you do fruit each day. Shoot for 5 veggies, 3 fruits. Ideally you should even be eating more veggies than that but I have found it is quite difficult to accomplish this. 

Eat whole wheat and whole grain breads. You DO need carbs. Make sure its the right kind though. You want to read ingredient labels, make sure it DOESNT say "enriched" anywhere on it. This means that the nutrients have been stripped from the product. Avoid high fructose corn syrup! 

Instead of eating three times a day, eat smaller meals more often. Eat snacks throughout the day. Each night I try to pack a bag of food for the whole of my next day. I prepare baggies of celery, cucumber and carrot sticks as well as baggies of fruit. By eating more often your glucose levels do not drastically change and your metabolism stays more active. 

Make sure you are drinking plenty of water. 70 ounces at least! 

And finally, you asked for motivation ideas.... I suggest creating a blog, even if it is anonymous.. Knowing that there are people reading and following your weight loss is some great motivation. I know this for a fact. Its important that you want the weight loss for yourself. Think about how great you will feel once you have lost a few pant sizes / inches... I know that was one of the best feelings ever for me. The more you start to lose the more motivation you will get to keep going. Losing weight and keeping it off really is a whole lifestyle change. Its a change in mindset, you really have to dedicate yourself to it.  

Another suggestion, find a friend that will do this with you. Check in with each other on a regular basis and keep each other in check by looking over each others food diaries. Work out together. Working out with a friend makes my workouts so much easier as the majority of the time we are just blabbing away. 

Last but not least, stay positive. If you mess up one day or don't have as big of a loss as you are hoping for, don't get discouraged. Each day is a new day. You can do this! It gets easier and easier, I PROMISE!

**I am no professional, my advice is solely based on my own personal experience**

the stress my calculus homework is causing me at the moment is forcing me to eat a chocolate ice cream cone

whhhhhhhhhhy

is it that around this time every night i start to crave candy and ice cream .

"Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer the goal." – Elbert Hubbardp

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got, and you'll always feel what you always felt.

yesterdays workout...

One thing I have learned over the past few months is that expectations have a huge impact on the quality of your workout. If you begin a workout thinking that you're going to have a bad one, you will. I'm still not quite sure how valid Mr. Starrs claims are, I would have to see some supporting scientific evidence fully believe them - however, I must say that despite feeling like crap going into my workout yesterday, I had an excellent one. Maybe it was my expectations of a great workout, maybe it was all of my extra antibodies at work, nevertheless, cardio was a breeze and it worked magic on my congestion (even better than Sudafed I might add)... I am about to hop on my treadmill now so we shall see if I have similar results today :)